


of one speck of dust in universe

by tabloidsuperjunkie (haljordae)



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Gen, M/M, angst maybe, hurt/comfort maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 08:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12627351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haljordae/pseuds/tabloidsuperjunkie
Summary: And lastly, I wish you a birthday.





	of one speck of dust in universe

**Author's Note:**

> because I miss him. a lot.  
> also, happy birthday.

 

 ** _Remember that old time when_** we would lie on the ground together, our eyes landed on the night’s sky looming above and the stars were staring back at us? We were so young before – so naïve, so innocent… and so scared of the world surrounding us. It was the last summer night before we finally left our hometown to pursue our dreams – yours with your obsession with art and mine with my singing passion.

I remember what you told me that night, of how _afraid_ you were. There was a dark silhouette lurking around the corner of your mind, you said, doing nothing but watching… watching for your every move, feeding off your fear, and waiting patiently until you fell. You told me – I can still recall the unusual crack in your voice, a distorted tremble breaking the quiet of the night – how the faceless shadow grew bigger and stronger, and you started to feel that you slowly lost the control over yourself. Whatever creature it was, it quietly yet dangerously took over your mind, whispering poisonous words that filled your thoughts with nothing but darkness.

It was only 13 years ago, indeed. But now, as I look out of the window and watched the moon – an unsightly blotch on the expanse of the night sky – a realization strikes me hard. Thirteen years are not a brief period of time, indeed, and I will never imagine how long it has always been for you to keep you _you_ , to keep you from destroying… yourself.

 _I should’ve known_ , shouldn’t I?

I should have known right from the moment when you started to slip out, stumbling as you had been walking on a thin ice. I should have noticed the cracks on your smile as the surface collapsed, ready to suck you down into the vast of eternal nothingness beneath. And I should have offered you one arm to hold, for it had always been more than enough to keep you stand straight. However, I might be too busy trying to draw imaginary lines connecting each star, too occupied with my own obsession, too blinded by how endless the possibilities outside our small world were.

I overlooked all those tiny signs and abandoned you, and now I’m overwhelmed with nothing but regret.

Is it too late? Because I hope it’s not, because I have a lot of things I’d like to say to you, with our fingers interlaced and the beating of your chest blending with mine. I hope it’s yet too late, because I want you to look into my eyes and see how _sorry_ I am for all the years I’ve left you struggling alone – and ‘sorry’ is even an understatement to best describe what I truly am feeling now. But before I can finally sit next to you, this is all that I can say as for now:

It’s okay to be imperfect, it’s okay to be broken. Let the sunlight enters through the cracks of your façade. And let me be one among those who will attach the broken pieces and fill in the missing pieces.

Dear Seunghyun,

I wish the stars still land at your bed and kiss you good night. I wish the moon still sends you a smile each time you lose your thoughts in the night’s sky. I wish the sun still graces you with its warm embrace. I wish the wind still sings for you every day and night. I wish the earth still welcomes you each time you’re home, worn to the bones.

And lastly, I wish you a birthday – it doesn’t have to be a ‘happy’ one for now, because you still have all the time in the world to change that. You may be just a speck in this vast universe, but remember this: _to some, you’re their world_.

I will see you soon. I promise.

 

— _Little Seunghyun_

 

**E N D**

 

 


End file.
